25 November 2013

Feeling A Loss

I have a new friend who recently lost her older brother and it is affecting me tremendously. I am not close with this new friend, although I could see us becoming good friends. I really like her. I don't know why I feel so strongly about her loss. Every single time I think about her loss I start crying (or choking back the tears if in public). Seriously, every single time. I just can't imagine the pain, even trying to imagine it guts me.
I didn't find out about her loss until she was already on a plane back to her hometown and although I have emailed her, we haven't had a chance to talk. I don't know if she was particularly close with her brother. She has 7 siblings. I don't know how he passed away or anything.
What I do know is he was her older brother. He was 30. He had a family. I have an older brother, who is 30, who I miss a ton. I am, on one hand, putting myself in her shoes, because it's easy to with the similarities, but this hurt I feel isn't just a reaction out of a fear of my brother passing away. I'm sure that's part of it, but I think a very small part. I just feel for her. I hurt for her.
I suppose this is one of those moments in life when you realize how finite life is and how we aren't guaranteed a long life with time enough to say goodbyes. That, that right there, hit me at a whole new level. I'm not over here acting all crazy and overly sensitive (not that it would be bad if I did). I'm just throwing this out there.
Have you ever dealt with something like this? It's intense.

To Kate, if you ever come upon this, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I pray for you and your whole family to get through this hard time together, with love, with God. I pray for his family. I pray that you never feel alone on this topic. I know we're not close, but I am here for you, if you ever need to talk, have alone time, or need a dinner delivered. I really mean it, I am here for you.