21 October 2011

S talks!

Well... she is starting to say words. Today she said "bubble" (holding up a bubble wand), it came out more "buba" but you get the idea.
I can't really think of the other words she has said, but you know the norms: "momma", "daddy", "byebye", "hi". Some that are used a lot in our family "aw dn" (all done), "more", etc.
I can see her putting thoughts & ideas together more. She shares well, is curious, is going through a whiny phase, is learning face parts, likes pointing & learning what we call things.

ahh, as hard as the whiny phase is, i still manage to be completely amazed by her & in love with her!

that's it.
p.s. i really want to tell you all about the fabulous things W is doing too, but I'll make a W blog next. haha

17 October 2011

Ohhh, that's why...

Ohhhhh, that's why I've been a hot mess!!! I'm about to start my period! Wow. I really hate, hate, HATE to admit it, but my monthly hormones have been having a real effect on me.

I just pieced it together. I have been feeling way more emotional the last couple days & overwhelmed & wound up. Nothing I was doing was really helping, even praying and the such. Then as I talk to Corey it dawns on me, I'm about to start my period! Totally dramatic feelings, check. Hard time with self-control (with food & kids), check. Outbursts, check! Wanting to quit my "hard" volunteer commitment, check. Then I realized about once a month I get a little fed up with this volunteer commitment! bahaha. It could also be because I don't know if I had really asked God if this was something I was supposed to do, or jumped into it because it sounded fun. Because I do have other volunteer commitments I LOVE & really help me through these hard times. That's another story.

So, there you have it... I am lame! I am one of those women. ;) I will blame it on the Mirena. ha! I'll also put off any big decisions until after my visit from "aunt rose".
Sorry all those affected by my craziness. But now that I see what's causing it, I can not listen to my feelings so much & trust God. Blessed!

10 October 2011

253 more days

God, Do you know I hate that number?! I hate it!

I'm doing good, seriously, things are alright, but it sucks. I hate that he's gone. Today when I think of how long it's going to be it's hard to breathe. It's not always like that.

I'm used to crying when everything in my world is chaotic. When the kids are running amok & God knows what else on my plate. I'm not really used to having this long aching that I know will be here for what seems like such a long time.

I want to say that I shouldn't be complaining & that I'm not even complaining. But none of that seems true. I love God & I praise him & pray to him all day, & I will forever. But this hurts. I miss him & I don't want to do this.

That is all

05 October 2011

God's Love vs. butt kicking

So, today the kids slept in again! I surely am blessed for this new development. I was pretty groggy (stayed up late) & semi-dragged my feet through the morning routine (rushed because of said sleeping in). I started to get little bits of frustration at my children running from me as I tried to dress them, whining as I was trying to feed them, whining & wiggling as I tried to fix their hair. All pretty normal stuff that yesterday didn't faze me at all. Follow that by S a little whiny from extended car seat time, lunch falling all over the car, carrying both W & S to the car because I was late & didn't get out the stroller & lots more fussing.

I put them down for nap & was determined to read my bible study (which I'm behind in). With a cup of coffee, I sat down to the dinning room table. I was sure I was going to find some answer to my attitude issues. Ready for God to hand me the lashing I deserved. Kick my butt into gear, if you will. I read 3 pages or a bible study & the bible. I felt the same. Frustrated, I stopped. Taking note from the new sermon series from church, i thought to ask God to speak to me.

Me: "God, this is not working. Can you hear me? I'm so frustrated, I can't seem to get anything done, & I don't like this attitude in my heart so tell me how to be better. Speak to me."
God: "I love you"
Me: "Right, I know that, now how do I fix myself?"
God: "Theresa... I love you"
Me: "Ok... (wondering where he was going with this one)"
God: "I love you when you don't do the chores.... I love you when haven't made Corey's cookies... I love you when you have yelled at the kids... I love you."
Me: "Ohh... (enter crying) but why God?! Why do you love me? I'm so messed up"
God: "I love you because you are so valuable to me! You are precious, my daughter. You are strong & bold. You are mine."
Me: "But I mess up"
God: "Every one does, but I. love. you. I love you"

He kept telling me that he loved me until I was able to stop my tears, pick up my head & hear him tell me how to move on with the day.

I totally asked God for an ass-kicking & he poured out his love. & it was just what I needed. Amazing or what?!
I'm a type-A person & even though I've grown leaps & bounds in my type-A issues, I still have a tendency to measure my worth by the things I do & don't do. While I should do good things, even when I fail (even epically) God still loves me. The great news is, when I stopped & accepted Gods love in my imperfectness today, I felt revived & ready to love on my babies & get done what I can & let the other stuff slide.
So, if you are having a hard day, or maybe the next time you are (because we ALL have those days), stop & ask God to speak to you. You may hear something different than I did today, but trust me, it'll be just what you need!

Praise be to God!