God, Do you know I hate that number?! I hate it!
I'm doing good, seriously, things are alright, but it sucks. I hate that he's gone. Today when I think of how long it's going to be it's hard to breathe. It's not always like that.
I'm used to crying when everything in my world is chaotic. When the kids are running amok & God knows what else on my plate. I'm not really used to having this long aching that I know will be here for what seems like such a long time.
I want to say that I shouldn't be complaining & that I'm not even complaining. But none of that seems true. I love God & I praise him & pray to him all day, & I will forever. But this hurts. I miss him & I don't want to do this.
That is all