Breastfeeding Woes

So, I have to admit that while pregnant I thought breastfeeding would be "easy". Even if it wasn't, I would MAKE it work, because I was apparently that cool. ROFL!!! HAHAHA! How delusional I was.

God has definitely already started using my beautiful, wonderful son to mold me.
Those of you who know me, know that I tend to run on the control-freak side. God is constantly trying to break me of this (so thankful for his persistence). I have grown leaps-and-bounds from just a few years ago, but this is something I'll always learn more about. haha.

Anyways, the story goes that I have had several problems trying to breastfeed Will. At first, he wouldn't latch. Then he would either be 1)too sleepy & refuse to open his mouth (I did try prying it open everyway possible & yes I tried to wake him every way short of poking him with something sharp) or 2)get very angry at me for trying to press his face into my boob. If #2 happened, then I would have to pull him off & calm him down, but then he'd turn into #1. If #1 happened, I'd have to use techniques to wake him & he'd turn into #2.

Then, the hospital nurses told me that babies can sleep & be fed every 4 hours. (umm, didn't sound right, but in my exhausted state I didn't put up a fight).

Oh yeah & when things couldn't get any worse, he stopped sucking & swallowing. I would hand express some milk into his mouth to get him going, but sit him up to calm him down (cause you know he freaked out) & all of the expressed milk poured out.

So, I have a Lactation Consultant (LC) & have been in daily contact with her. Because he had stopped sucking/swallowing I had to start supplementing. My pump hadn't come in the mail yet, so we used formula & when I could hand expressed milk.

Well, anyways... I had been praying about my feelings & for help from God. Yeah, I was so exhausted, stressed, disappointed, frustrated, etc. In the course of a day, He really helped me work through some of my feelings & attitudes. I read some things online & talked to a really good friend. Oh I felt so much better!

Today, I went in to see my LC & she was really baffled by Will. She even pointed out that when he bottle feeds, he's really slow & relaxed about it. I was afraid she was going to tell me to just keep trying (it's really exhausting spending an hour trying to feed a screaming/sleeping baby, only to have to supplement with a bottle & an hour after that try it all again), but she actually helped me feel even better. She said I'm doing everything I can do & that he's just not wanting to do it. She reccommended the nipple shield (which didn't work at the office, but I'm willing to try it for today), but also encouraged something I had found out about online.

Explusive Pumping. For mom's who can't nurse, but still want to give their baby breastmilk. Perfect for me because I would rather be a happy, bottle-feeding mom than a stressed-out, struggling, "nursing" mom. The main thing I care about it the nurtients he's getting. So, there is a strong chance that slowly my milk supply will diminish, but some is better than none, no?

I realize this is super long & oh look at the time, I need to pump! Please pray for me that my milk supply would increase to 2oz. (that's where he's at now). Thanks so much! Praise God that he really helped me through this to find a great solutiong. I'll keep ya updated!