Oh my goodness!
Last night was a hard night. Will woke up 4 times (only ate 2x, the others were from swaddle issues & his weird wake up @ 5am habit). I was so frustrated & when Corey came home from PT (physical training) to take a shower, I lamented to him. He offered to burp Will if I wanted to take a break. At first I said no, because what's the point of a 5 min. break, but God pushed me (& Corey too).
I knew I wasn't having the right heart. I knew that I shouldn't have been complaining to Corey when he is stressed with work. I knew, as everyone tells me, I should be cherishing every moment. I wasn't, but I knew that even if I felt bad, I could still do the right things. So I asked God for help & told him I will act right.
I had MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) this morning & lamented last night about how hard it would be to make it (it's a 9:15am) & that Will would be off his schedule, PLUS 8-10am is when I nap. Well, God was calling me to go, so I made a big pot of coffee (thank you lord!) & did it.
I am SO thankful God drug me there! Today 4 women shared their testimonies & they were all very moving. Especially my friend Laurie's. I just met her so I didn't know any of her history. God really used her testimony to remind me how thankful I should be to have my William. She had a late miscarriage after having lots of trouble getting pregnant.
God carried me through SOOOOOO much & how quick I am to forget all that he has carried me through. I know the Lord is with me always, but I forget what that deeply means & how blessed I am because I have that comfort & strength!
I wanted a child SO badly & after a time God blessed me with Will. Not because I was right that I should have a child & God just caught on, but because he knew I was ready & that was what I needed. I think of Will being taken away from me or if I can't have anymore children & my heart breaks, but it makes me see the preciousness that Will is.
I hope to never forget how precious he is & how precious, wonderful, glorious, amazing, comforting, & all powerful He (God) is.
Thank you Heavenly Father for reminding me to stop and smell my precious boy. How blessed I am to have my dream of being a mom. May I glorfiy you & not take for granted all that you have blessed me with. Thank you for the relationship I have with you, thank you for never ever turning your back on me, even when I am a selfish brat that I so often am. I am so sorry for the evil I had in my heart this morning. Please forgive me. Thank you so much. Amen.